SEXUAL ASSAULT
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual act done by one person to another. Sexual assault is never OK and if it’s happened to you, know it’s not your fault. In essence, it is an act of violence committed by a person to feel power over another person. It can come in different forms:
Sexual touching of any kind that is unwanted or coerced, including kissing, groping, or fondling.
Rape means being forced to have vaginal, oral, or anal sex against your will or without your full consent including penetration with objects or body parts.
Acquaintance sexual assault is when a person is attacked by someone they know such as a classmate, neighbour or friend.
Date rape is a specific type of acquaintance sexual assault which occurs when a person is attacked by someone they know and may be interested in (like a partner).
Other forms of sexual violence include sexual harassment, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, sex trafficking, voyeuristic behaviours and unwanted sexting.
If you’ve been sexually assaulted
Sexual assault of any type can be a very traumatic experience, even if you’re able to get away from the attacker. It’s important to remember:
It’s not your fault: Sexual assault is always the attacker’s fault, not yours and no one has the right to touch you sexually without your permission. You never ask for it because of what they’re wearing or how they act. If sex is forced without someone’s consent, it’s rape. It’s still rape if the people are dating, married or have had sex together before. Remember that you never owe someone sex.
Sexual assault isn’t always violent: If you say no or don’t say anything at all, and the person continues, it’s sexual assault because you never gave your permission. This is true even if you don’t resist.
Sexual assault isn’t always about sex: Sex without consent is an act of violence and aggression – it’s not about love and respect. Someone who cares about you will not force you to do anything sexual without your permission.
It’s important to get support immediately.
Many communities have sexual assault or crisis lines that allow you to talk to someone about what you’re feeling. You can also talk to family, friends, teachers, counsellors, or someone else you trust. If you’re comfortable, you may choose to contact the police.
But contacting the police is your decision. If you’ve been sexually assaulted and are thinking about reporting it, here are some things to remember:
Don’t bathe or change your clothes after the assault until you’ve gone to the hospital for an examination.
Go to the hospital or clinic after you’ve been sexually assaulted so the staff can make sure you’re not physically hurt.
Hospital staff can talk to you about testing for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy if needed.
Hospital staff can look for physical evidence in case you decide to press charges against the attacker.
Even if some time has passed since the sexual assault took place, you can still report it.
If you want more information before you decide to report a sexual assault, you can call the police anonymously to learn more about the process.
You can call a local sexual assault or crisis line. You can find their numbers online or ask hospital staff for more information.
Common myths about sexual assault
Myth: It’s OK to force someone to have sex if they are drunk, wear provocative clothing or agree to go out on a date with the person.
Fact: It’s never OK to force someone to have sex. No reason justifies sexual assault – you must get consent every time.
Myth: Males always commit the sexual assaults.
Fact: People of any gender can commit sexual assault or be sexually assaulted.
Myth: Sexual assaults are usually committed by a stranger.
Fact: You’re more likely to be assaulted by someone you know than by a stranger. (This is called acquaintance sexual assault.)
What is consent?
At the core of sexual assault and rape is the issue of consent. By its most basic definition consent is to give permission for something to happen or be done. With this in mind we practice consent in nearly every social or interpersonal contacts we have throughout our days; from asking to sit next to a stranger on the bus to asking a friend if you can borrow money. These exchanges force us to engage with another person, to not assume their comfort level or response, to pay attention to their words as well as non-verbal cues and to abide by their answer, regardless of our feelings about it. In the case of sexual consent, it is no different.
Consent is also an ongoing process throughout a sexual encounter and can be withdrawn at any time. This means that a person can consent to oral sex but not consent to vaginal intercourse and if this occurs it can be considered sexual assault or rape.
Additionally, consent is never assumed, even in the context of a relationship. Past sexual activity, an intimate relationship or marriage does not provide blanket consent for future sexual activity.
_The impact of sexual violence on survivors _
Every person who experiences sexual violence responds to the trauma differently. This can be due to a variety of factors including past history with abuse or violence, personality traits, established coping strategies, support systems, relationship with the offender or even where the assault took place. It is important to understand that there is no right way for a survivor to respond to an assault and they may present for help and support either immediately following or it could be weeks, months or years later. Although there is no one way survivors will respond there are some common responses we tend to hear.
Common emotional responses:
shock
embarrassment (I’m sorry you have to hear about this …)
shame
self-blame (I can’t believe I invited him back to my apartment …)
guilt (I must’ve been leading them on, I mean I did flirt with them all night …)
anger
vulnerability or fear (I’ve tried going out and being normal but everyone i see reminds me of him …)
denying or minimising the severity of the assault (I know people have much worse things happen to them, maybe mine wasn’t so bad …)
concern for the offender (I want him to know what they did was wrong, but do you think they’ll be kicked out of school?)
mood swings
Common physical responses:
feeling dirty and needing to repeatedly shower/bathe
pain
anxiety/panic attacks
depression
changes in sleeping/eating patterns
flashbacks
Common long-term impacts:
mental health issues
substance use issues
difficulty concentrating (impacts at work and/or school)
linked with a higher likelihood of ongoing physical health conditions
_The impact of sexual violence on others _
Sexual violence tends to cause a ripple effect of trauma onto other people that the survivor knows and cares about; including anyone from family members and intimate partners to roommates or fellow school members. Acknowledging these far-reaching impacts allows us to remember that healing from this violence often includes providing support to secondary victims. Secondary victims can have many similar feelings as a survivor including shock, anger, a sense of vulnerability and helplessness. By validating these feelings and also providing them with resources to better understand the experience of the survivor and how to be most supportive, we are not only caring for their needs but also helping to create a supportive environment for the survivor to heal.
The impact of sexual violence on the community and society
When cases of sexual violence occur in schools, workplaces, neighbourhoods, campuses, and cultural or religious communities – many community members may feel fear, anger, or disbelief that this has happened to someone they know. This response can come from a place of shock that a person similar to them has been victimised as culturally many people still believe that victims are somehow different to themselves.
Additionally, there are financial costs to communities. These costs include medical services, criminal justice expenses, crisis and mental health services fees, and the lost contributions of individuals affected by sexual violence. Most importantly, the contributions and achievements that may never come as a result of sexual violence is a cost to society that can’t be measured.
Drug-facilitated sexual assault
Drug-facilitated sexual assault occurs when alcohol or drugs are used to compromise an individual’s ability to consent to sexual activity. These substances (called date rape drugs) create vulnerabilities in a person and make it easier for a perpetrator to commit sexual assault because of the victim’s limited ability to resist and, in some cases, remember the assault.
It is quite common for survivors of drug-facilitated sexual assault to exhibit self-blame, especially when they weren’t forced to take, or were tricked into, taking the drug or alcohol. It is not the survivor’s fault as no one has the right to take advantage of another while they are vulnerable. Perpetrators use a variety of substances to incapacitate a victim:
Alcohol is the most commonly used substance in drug-facilitated sexual assault.
Prescription drugs like sleep aids, anxiety medication, muscle relaxants, and tranquillisers may also be used by perpetrators.
Street drugs, like GHB, Rohypnol, ecstasy, and ketamine can be added to drinks without changing the colour, flavour, or odour of the beverage.
Common signs a drug may have been ingested include the following:
nausea
loss of bowel or bladder control
difficulty breathing
feeling drunk without consuming any alcohol or very limited amounts
sudden increase in dizziness, disorientation, or blurred vision
sudden body temperature changes that could be signalled by sweating or chattering teeth
waking up with no memory or missing large portions of memories
If a person identifies any of these signs or believes they may have been drugged, it is important to preserve the evidence as quickly as possible. Many of these substances are processed through the body within 12–72 hours and therefore obtaining a blood or urine sample as soon as possible is critical.
Recovery from sexual assault
As traumatic as sexual assault is, it is important to emphasise that recovery is possible. However, it is vital to seek help, and the sooner after the assault the better. Ideally, a trained counsellor with knowledge of trauma counselling should be sought, but in the absence of a trained professional, a wise and trusted mentor or friend can be of great value in dealing with the aftermath of a sexual assault.