SEX, GENDER AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION

What is the difference between your sex, your gender, and your sexual orientation? Defining these terms is important because they are often confused. What also confuses people are the two related issues of:

1 . Whether variations in sex, gender and sexual orientation actually exist.

2 . Whether the existence of variations means it is morally acceptable to express your gender and sexuality in any way you want to.

A simple way to make the distinction is by remembering that:

Your sex is about your body, your gender is about who you feel yourself to be, and your sexual orientation is about to whom you’re sexually attracted.

A small number of people are atypical in their biological sex (sex), or their feeling of being male or female (gender), or who they are sexually attracted to (sexual orientation). In other words, some people are born with abnormalities in their biological sex; some people question whether their gender matches their biological sex; and some people feel sexually attracted to people of the same sex, or both. The reason for these differences is very complex and not yet fully understood by physical and social scientists.

However, the fact that these developmental differences exist in a small number of people, does not mean that how we live out our gender and sexuality is simply a matter of choice. The Bible gives clear guidelines for God’s will for human identity and sexual relationships, as spelt out throughout the Reach4Life book. We therefore need to be compassionate and understanding towards people struggling with their gender identity or sexual orientation, but still be clear on what the Bible says and what God’s will is for the life choices we make.

Now here’s the longer answer:

Sex is the term we use to refer to a person’s sexual anatomy (the sexual body parts). So if a doctor were to say that a girl is female in terms of her sex chromosomes, her sex organs, and hormonal make-up, the doctor is referring to the girl’s sex (her body). People with disorders of sex development (DSD) are born with a sex type that is different from most men and most women. Rather than being male typical or female typical, people with DSD have one or more sex atypical traits. That means a woman with DSD has some sex traits that are relatively unusual for females, and that a man with DSD has some sex traits that are relatively unusual for males. So DSD is an umbrella term covering a wide variety of conditions in which sex develops differently from typical male or typical female development. People with DSD are sometimes referred to as intersex.

Gender identity is the innermost concept of self as male or female – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. For most people their sense of self is directly related to their biological sex, for example, they are biologically male and perceive themselves to be male. However, a small percentage of people question this in themselves and identify more with the opposite sex, or with no particular gender. This is commonly called transgender (or trans for short). However, as mentioned above, the fact that some people legitimately struggle with their gender identity does not therefore mean it is simply a lifestyle choice. God’s will for how wants us to live out our gender and sexuality is clearly spelled out in the Bible (Gen 1:27 and Gen 2:22–24).

Gender role is slightly different to gender identity in that it refers to social roles that are expected by a society according to your gender. These roles are concepts of what it means to be masculine or feminine. Expected gender roles can differ from one culture to another, and gender roles have been changing a lot in the last hundred years, as many societies have become less restrictive about what roles men and women may take on. Sometimes when someone does not fit the expected gender roles of their society or culture, they may mistakenly question their gender identity.

Sexual orientation is the term used to refer to a person’s sexual (erotic) feelings. While most people are attracted to the opposite sex (heterosexual or straight), a small minority of people find themselves being attracted to the same sex (homosexual or gay/lesbian), or both sexes (bisexual). The reasons for these variations in sexual attraction in some people are still poorly understood but are very complex. The experience of an atypical sexual orientation itself, therefore, cannot be described as moral or immoral, but how one chooses to act certainly is.

The ethics of gender identity and sexual orientation

Statistically speaking, most females are anatomically sex-typical: they gender-identify as women, and they are sexually oriented towards men. Statistically speaking, most males are anatomically sex-typical: they gender-identify as men, and they are sexually oriented towards women. But some people experience variations in these combinations of sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation because human development is biologically and psychologically very complex.

However, the fact of these differences does not mean we can live however we want to. Some behavioural choices are unhealthy and destructive because they go against the will of God for human and societal flourishing. The Bible is clear that the right place to express our sexuality is in the marriage between a man and a woman.

For those who are struggling with their gender identity or sexual orientation, our attitude ought to be one of love, compassion and understanding, but without condoning a lifestyle that goes against the will of God.