*BASIC COUNSELLING TECHNIQUES *

As a group leader, you may find young people approaching you, wanting to speak confidentially about problems they are struggling with. While it is important to acknowledge that you are not a trained counsellor, you can still help a lot by just listening to their stories. If there is anything they share with you that you think needs more help than you can give, refer them to a teacher, counsellor, pastor, or social worker who is trained to deal with more complex problems.

Here are a few basic counselling techniques to help you have meaningful conversations with young people:

1 . Active listening: The most important part of building a trusting relationship is listening. Do not rush to respond. Be present with the person, actively listening to both what they are saying and what they are not saying. Watch for non-verbal signals indicating that there is more to the story. Be prepared to go in-depth and encourage them to focus on and process their feelings. Often, just telling their story is the first step to healing.

Remember to keep your words and actions positive and accepting, to enable them to continue to share freely.

2 . Empathising: Before responding, give yourself time to think. Use frequent, short responses. Using non-verbal communication (eye contact, nodding) throughout the conversation reminds the individual that you are listening and that you care. Remember, unconditional acceptance is a must so that the person can reveal and disclose themselves without the fear of rejection. The aim is to reflect God’s love and acceptance to promote a deeper level of self-understanding. Empathy is communicated by reflecting the feelings that the person is expressing back to them. It helps the person sharing to identify and connect with the appropriate emotion and encourages further exploration of their feelings. Responses to the expression of feelings may be a single word, a phrase, or a reflection of their experience or action. For example: You feel [name emotion] because/when [indicate experience or behaviour].

3 . Comforting: Your goal in comforting someone is to address and reduce their grief or distress so that they can experience the presence of God as a reality and as a source of consolation.

4 . Probing: Do not be afraid to ask questions and get more details about their story. The aim is not to interrogate (fire questions) but to encourage story-telling and self-disclosure. For instance, ask: Could you tell me more about that? Why did you say that? And how did you feel about that?

5 . Interpreting: Assess and analyse the information you have received to gain insight into the individual’s unique situation. Think about how their story lines up with God’s story, and what He wants to do in the young person’s life.

6 . Discerning: Reflect prayerfully and critically to gain a clearer and deeper understanding of the situation. Use your own experiences to connect the young person with the will of God and to apply the ethics of God’s love to their situation.

7 . Responding: The way in which you respond further should always be in the best interest of the person you are counselling. Here are some ways you may choose to respond:

_If connecting the person to counselling, medical or legal assistance, offer to accompany them. _