"Quilling is what I learnt when I was in the government girls’ home. That time we were worried so much—so traumatised—one NGO came up with an art and craft session. They taught us about quilling, taking papers and making whatever design you wish. I have tried lots of designs through quilling. Every time I try something new and finish the work, I feel satisfied, happy. It has helped me to not think about the past.
"Craft is part of my life now. Whenever I feel sad or am going through something, I just take something and do. This peacock I love so much; it is so colourful, giving brightness to my life."
~ Deepika J ~
Child Sexual Abuse
by Twyla David
*I am talkative, I am loud,
I can scream and shout
But that night I couldn’t get out.
With all my heart I said, ‘No’!
With all my actions I asked him to let me go.
I tried to make sense that I was like his child
I remember he only smiled ...
… In my mind I felt messed
The rest is still unexpressed …*
Where to Get Help?
If you are looking for information on organisations that you can reach out to for help, for yourself or someone else, write to us at asha@biblica.com. We will respond with information.
Do you want to use Asha in your community? For more information on Asha Facilitators Training, write to us at asha@biblica.com.
How Can We Become More Trauma-Sensitive?
"Our job is to equip them, empower them and release them. The problem is, release them where, into what?" asked the head of an NGO that we conversed with.
Over a period of time, we had conversations with NGOs working with traumatised women and people running safe homes and vocational training centres for the abused to understand what their needs, challenges, and expectations are and what is the nature of the relationship between their work, Jesus Christ, and the churches/Christian community. We discovered several common themes, echoed several times; some are attitudes, some are verbs: trust, consistency, sensitisation, love, non-judgement, listen, provision, power, action, equality, safety.
In these themes lie the clues as to how followers of Christ and church communities could respond to the issue.
Trust
Abused women have had their trust broken. Studies show that, apart from distrusting human beings, abused women experience God as punitive, distant, and unavailable. They find it hard to trust Him. Their attachment to God is insecure—a not-so-surprising fact, given their earthly relational experiences.
A significant channel for their perceptions about God to be reconfigured can be in the context of their relationships with followers of Christ and Christian communities. Experiencing a Christian community as consistently available, trustworthy, loving, and non-judgmentally accepting can help these women see a reflection of a loving God and know Him in the same way. Such communities can be a place of safe and secure relationships for them.
Action
- Talk about the plight of abused and traumatised women (and the marginalised in general) from the pulpit.
- Christian communities could do more to help rescue centres for abused women, both by volunteering and giving financially.
- There needs to be sensitisation and training within churches so that its members are alert to abuse and to the possibilities to help.
- Trained and professional counsellors are needed in the churches, not only for the rich who can afford counselling, but also for persons who cannot.
- Churches need to examine what they are teaching young people—for instance, to seek comfort and safety for self, or to be passionate about social justice and helping the vulnerable.
Listen
Seek people broken in heart. Take time to sit and talk with them. Be available for them. One of the women whose story is narrated here under the pseudonym Maitri said, "If someone had just asked me, ‘Nee saptiya (Have you eaten)?’ that itself would mean so much. To have a lap I can lay my head and cry on."
Truly listen.
Without a hidden agenda. Without judgement. Without the need or urge to jump in with advice or solutions. Listen. Again and again. Until you know that the other person is ready to listen to you.
Wait
Be patient and wait for people to heal and move on—on their own terms. Give them space for their own course of healing. Don’t pressure them to quickly overcome. You cannot decide their timelines. Be with them on their journey. Don’t fixate on the destination.
Approach/Attitude
Let's identify some negative approaches or attitudes first:
- Many Christians and Christian communities either demonise abuse ("The devil did it, not him or them") or over-spiritualise it ("This is the cross that I have to bear").
- Pastors and counsellors want to play the good guy and save marriages at any cost.
- Church and community leadership turn a blind eye to abuse, especially when it involves leaders. Demanding forgiveness from the victim is often used as a means to silence the issue and move on.
The positive attitude would be to accept the women in Christian communities as wives, daughters, friends, and equals—not as a supply chain for servants, maids, and nannies. Help them rebuild their shattered worldview so that they might be able to trust, even if just a little. Help them rebuild a positive view of themselves by providing them with safety and protection, offering your simple empathetic presence, treating them with respect and tolerance, giving them time, and creating safe spaces for them to mourn their losses and grieve. Recognise there could be genuine mental and emotional health concerns that may need professional addressal.
Doing these things can help the "self" that has been broken in the context of interpersonal relationships be rebuilt in connection with others. The community and the social support of the traumatised individual are significant in the journey of recovery from trauma. It is also important to remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean absence of justice. The church needs to be willing to take a stand on bringing justice—both for the victims and to the perpetrators.
Facilitator Guide
Hello!
Thank you for completing the nine-week Asha Scripture engagement programme! That is why you are here – to now facilitate the same journey with others. Here are a few suggestions that we hope will aid your facilitation process as you journey with Asha again – this time, not as a participant, but as a facilitator for your group. The suggestions and criteria listed below are broad recommendations. For more details on Asha Facilitators Training, please write to us at asha@biblica.com. You know your context and group best, so feel free to adapt and make decisions accordingly.
1. Group
Your group can be as small as three members or as large as 12. Any larger than that might not be optimal for a deep discussion. You may also want to keep it a ‘closed’ group – that is, the same set of members will travel the Asha journey together. It wouldn’t be open to new members every week.
2. Pre-programme survey
Ask your group members to fill out the online pre-programme survey. The link is: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/ashathejourney-presurvey (or look for the QR code on the back cover). You can send the link via WhatsApp, or whichever platform you use as a group. Encourage every member to fill out the survey before you meet for the introductory session. The pre-session survey will help us understand the impact of Asha Scripture engagement and indicate the changes taking place in a member’s life as a result of going through Asha. This information will be of use and encouragement, both to you as the facilitator, and to Biblica, so we can keep improving to serve you better.
3. Design
The resource has been designed as a weekly engagement tool. Each session is designed to take two hours of engagement time. However, based on the amount of time your group can come together, you can choose to tailor it to suit your requirements by covering one week’s material over two weeks or more. Our hope is that you will engage with all the elements in each week’s material (the painting, ‘Notice’, the Scripture portion, ‘Her Story’, ‘Reflect’ and ‘Engage’).
4. Introduction week
- The first week can be a time when you get to know each other. In the introductory session, you can:
- Evaluate how trauma-aware or trauma-sensitive your group is, and the extent of Scripture engagement in their life.
- Refer to ‘What Is Trauma?’ on page 5 Encourage the group to read it on their own before the second session.
- You can also go over the section, ‘Roadmap for Reading’ to help them understand how the book is structured, and the elements covered each week.
- Share the intent – The journey is not only meant to be a personal blessing, but also to encourage each of them to start their own Asha groups.
- Establish group norms – In the introductory session itself, establish some basic codes that all members can agree upon. Do this democratically. (You could ask them, ‘To feel safe as a group, and to be able to trust each other and share personal matters, what do you think you may need?’) Typically, the following points below will emerge. You can also gently steer them towards these by asking questions like, ‘Would you find it easier to share if you felt no one here would judge you?’ The answer will always be ‘yes’! Then, an agreed-upon group norm will be a ‘non-judgmental attitude’. You can have the group come up with what each norm means to them for this group. You can also add more than what is mentioned in the list below.
- Confidentiality (what’s shared within the group stays within the group)
- Punctuality
- Respect
- Equality
- Trust
- Safety
- Non-judgmental listening
11. Your role
As a facilitator, build in greater participation. Encourage your group members to value and develop their own thoughts, emotions and opinions. Ask questions – encourage others to speak. A successful session might be considered one in which your group members speak the most and you the least! Be inclusive – make sure every member has the space and opportunity to express.
12. Planning
Encourage the members to come prepared for each week’s session. Remind them to read the Gospel of John from the Asha book and to use the ‘Notice’ section as a lens. That way, when they read John, they are looking out for specific themes, characters and concepts linked to that week’s discussion.
13. An option
Mid-way through the journey, you can open up opportunities for other members to facilitate the remaining sessions. That way, they get a sense of what it might be like to facilitate a group of their own and be encouraged to start one! It will also enable deeper engagement with the material in a more active manner as they prepare.
14. Celebration
Once you have completed the Asha Scripture engagement journey, have a last session intended to be a celebration! Celebrate together by having group members share their experience of journeying with Asha over the weeks. Encourage them also to invite at least one woman friend to this celebration session, so the friend can hear multiple testimonies about the Asha journey. This can lead to opportunities for inviting friends to a future Asha group.
15. Post-programme survey
In your last session or one session earlier, ask group members to fill out an online survey form. Send them the link in advance on whichever platform you use as a group. The link is: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/asha-thejourney-postsurvey (or look for the QR code on the back cover). Follow up with them mid-week and encourage every member to fill out the form. Information from the pre- and post-progamme surveys will be an indicator of the changes that may have taken place in the member’s life as a result of engaging with Asha. This information will be of use and encouragement, both to you as the facilitator and to Biblica.
May your group add to the growing Asha Communities of Hope! Reach out to us at asha@biblica.com for any support you may need.
Endnotes
- It’s not only women who are abused, but boys and men too. While men are often the perpetrators, women can be as well. p3
- The stories are true, but names have been changed to maintain confidentiality. p3
- These are only reported numbers. Actual numbers (including unreported cases) tend to be much higher. Most women usually experience a combination of physical, emotional and sexual violence. While strangers sometimes inflict violence against people unknown to them, abuse is often done by someone known to you whom you should have been able to trust. p4
- More than half (53 percent) of children reported experience of some form of sexual abuse, with 20 percent experiencing severe forms of sexual abuse. (India – National study, Ministry of Women and Child Development (MoWCD), 2007). Prevalence data on forms of violence against women in India indicates that 29 percent of women in their lifetime experience physical and/ or sexual intimate partner violence. Almost 20,000 women and children were victims of human trafficking in India in 2016.
- Wiesel, Elie; Wiesel, Marion. Night. New York: Hill and Wang, 2006. p4
- Hill, H., Hill, M., Baggé, R., & Miersma, P. Healing the wounds of trauma. Philadelphia, PA: American Bible Society, 2013. p5
- Herman, J. L. Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence – from domestic abuse to political terror. UK: Hachette, 2015. p5
- Frances J. Crosby. 1890. p61
- Adapted from God’s Justice: The Holy Bible. Copyright © 2019 by Biblica, Inc.® p130